Babysteps back into writing

Prior to the midglet's arrival, I spent hours of "free time" working on writing fiction. Mostly fantasy, with solid writing and weak plotting. Rereading some of it now, I still stand by individual scenes and characters, but the overall story-arcs give me pain.

Groan-worthy pain. Who-was-I-trying-to-fool pain.

Fortunately, I have a sense of humor about my own limitations, so after the pain comes laughter and head-shaking.

But in any case, after my "free time" became kid time, I convinced myself that I was a much better editor than I was a storyteller, so I might as well accept that the writer gig was never going to work out for me anyway, so I wasn't missing anything by just giving it up.

But lately?  Lately I'm feeling the twitch to write again.  I have new ideas in slightly different genres and I find myself playing around with character and plot in ways that I haven't in years.

So... I'm doing some research on a few topics - New England history and mythology mostly - and we'll see how it all meshes together over the next few months.

Why I don't consider myself an atheist

It just seems like too big a commitment.

And when I say that, I don't mean it in the way that I've heard other wafflers speak of "well, I don't believe in religion, but maybe I believe in God because it would be better to believe than not to, just in case I'm wrong".

I mean it in that I just don't care.

What I believe or don't believe in terms of religion (or my favorite "spirituality") doesn't change a damn thing about the way I move through the world. It just seems a little ridiculous to me to say or think, "I do good in this world because God loves me." Sooooo.... if there were no "God", you would be a raging asshole instead? Awesome.

Recently I saw/shared a meme on facebook that read "Your beliefs don't make you a good person, your behavior does." And the thing is, I think that applies not only to my uber-xtian acquaintances, but also to my hardcore atheist friends. It's as if atheism has become another belief system which they feel the need to promote. And I get that we live in a xtian-dominated nation (GOP propaganda notwithstanding) and the urge to shove non-belief back in the faces of the WWJD crowd may be overwhelming, but dearsweetbabyjesus (ha ha) the smug satisfaction with which many atheists I know brandish their "critical thinking skills" is just about as offensive as the evangelical glow of "I love Jesus".

Blah blah blah.

So, I don't know whether there's a deity out there or not. I don't know whether he/she/it prefers a particular kid of worship or not. It doesn't matter to me. That said, I will not be exposing my daughter to religious hoopla until she's old enough to make reasoned choices. Same as with alcohol and other potentially addictive or damaging behaviors/substances.

Revival - and a slightly new direction

Lately, especially because of the election blah-b'dee-blah, I've been really tempted to write some things on facebook, which is where I spend way too much of my online time. However, I don't really want to alienate the more religious of my friends, and I don't want to get into a debate with the more... Republican... among them either. Life is too damn short. This morning it occurred to me that I had a perfectly neglected blog which could be an outlet for my irritations. And so, I return. Thought for the day: Politics + Religion looks an awful lot like Megalomania + Mental Illness. A politician, like any other public performer, must have a wee bit of ego to want to go through the whole process of standing up in front of a crowd of people and thinking that the crowd will be interested in what they have to say. And that's good - we need people like that. Sadly, certain of those crowds seem to smack of mobs (or even lynch mobs), but that's another thought for another time. And if you look at the big picture of religion - which is pretty much "Don't be an asshole." (see Ten Commandments 4 through 10) - then I don't have a beef there. It's when you look at the specifics of religion that the crazy shines through. And when folks - particularly folks in politics - start leaning on the specifics of their selected religion as an excuse for bad behavior, THEN I have a flare up of my major rage issues. And that's all I have time for today...

Three Steps Past Exhaustion

That's where I'm living this week. And most of the other folks around here are in the same boat.

Came to work today only to finally be able to meet with my boss - she's cancelled 4 meetings in the last 2 weeks and I really need some answers that only she can give.

While I was on my way over to her office, her admin called to cancel.

I don't remember the last time I cried at work. You know, before today, that is.

Twice in one month

It's a bloomin' miracle.

So... we're in the throes of teething. Some night are good, some are a waking nightmare of fussiness - made all the more shocking because she's usually such a happy, mellow baby. But as of yesterday we are now equipped with baby orajel and baby motrin in case of emergency.

I'm about to leave this evening for a 2 night conference in New Hampshire, leaving Dada on solo parenting detail. I'm sure they'll be fine. And if not, I'm driving separately in case I need to make a quick exit.

Work has been mucho crazy-o, to the point that my projected workload for the next school year looks to have tripled. We'll see how THAT goes. Or doesn't go, as the case may be.

In happier news, we're planning our summer travel plans, including a 3-4 week road trip extravaganza. It's been a long time since we took a real vacation and even longer since we saw friends out west. Yay, vacation!

Regular Posting to Resume

I have seen the error of my ways. I will hereforth desist in posting lengthy updates on the Dooce Community and Facebook and Ravelry, and will instead attend faithfully to this long neglected Blog.

Yeah, sorry, I can't continue with that, even if it is April Fool's. Heh heh.

Here's the short version of life:

Work has gotten a lot crazier lately in a "be careful what you wish for" kind of way. It's good, and it means more job security, but it also means a lot less time for slacking off.

There is a definite element of being on the Life Merry-go-round these days... wake up, feed Zoe, shower, hand Zoe back and forth as we get ready to leave for work, drive to work, hustle through the day so we can leave by 4:30, pick up Zoe, drive home, make dinner and feed Zoe, eat, maybe watch a few episodes of something on Netflix, continue to feed Zoe until she passes out, pack up diapers and other morning gear, brush teeth, go to bed. Rinse. Repeat.

This weekend we're trying something ever so slightly different - driving to NJ for spring break with the in-laws. My parents are meeting us there and staying at a hotel with us, since the in-laws aren't really set up for hosting two adults & a bebe. It's the 2010 Grandparent Extravaganza! Should be fun, but I'm not really looking forward to the drive. Babies need more breaks than we big people do, ya know. Usually the drive takes about 6 hours with one or two stops. We're thinking it's going to be more like 8. Hours, not stops. I hope.

Anywho... just checking in again. Time to grab lunch and get back to work.

Happy New Year

Yeah, so I'm running about 2 weeks behind on everything. We just mailed out the last of the Christmas presents this morning. And yes, that's more than two weeks behind, but what can I say? We're blaming it all on Zoe this year. And probably for the next couple years as well.

She's cute enough to deflect irritation.

Still haven't gotten back into the writing groove - probably has something to do with my complete lack of free time. I have more free time while at work than I do when home - writing this from work now, as a matter of fact.

I did get a bit of knitting done in the last month - 3 kid-sized hats - two for my sitter's daughters and one for Aunt Lily (who is now 2 years old - yay for 2nd wife syndrome). I do have intentions of knitting another hat for Zoe, and maybe a couple more pairs of pants, since she's just about outgrown the three I did in November. My little hobbit is getting long - definitely gets that from her father's side of the family.

Okay - dull post, I know. I'm just trying to get in the habit of posting at all. I'll work on being interesting later. Ha.