Saturday, November 20, 2004

No, she really did fall down the stairs, officer.

So, obviously, I love my baby sisters. And they're kind of goofy, so they make for good stories. heh heh. Karlyn called me the other day to make sure I was still alive and stuff, since I've been less than frequent in my postings lately. As usual, she had me laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Or, I would have been laughing that hard, but I threw out my back that night and I wasn't really able to get the proper range of motion. Sigh. (Much better now - I can even sit up without dying.)

Things you have to understand about Karlyn: she looks so sweet and angelic, she's totally the mommy type (I think that's her official title as RA in her dorm), and she's a bit of a klutz. When she was just a wee little bitty slip of a girl, she managed to drop our butter dish on the floor, shattering it to bits. Very sad day. Then she dropped the stopper to the civil war era water jug we kept in the fridge. The jug itself followed only a few days later. I think it tooks weeks for me and Robby (our brother) to forgive her. I mean, it was our favorite jug. She was just our poopy little sister at the time. Cute, but poopy, and clumsy to boot.

All the women in the family have the unfortunate habit of crashing around without watching where we're going, and so we always have strange, unexplainable bruises on our arms and legs. Embarassing, really. Now that I'm in the classroom, I've got permanent deskbruises on my thighs. Damn desks. Damn crowded classroom.

But I digress.

So Karlyn's boyfriend John is a large guy, as I've mentioned before. We were shopping last christmas and she picked up a sweater that was so big... I asked if he was really that big and I think she said something about it maybe not being large enough. In any case, the boy is big, but harmless as a puppy.

They were leaving a party (I'm guessing in a frat basement) and just as they were almost at the top of the stairs, Karlyn slipped and fell backwards, landing on her bum, then knocking her head and sliding all the way to the bottom of the stairs, where she collapsed in a pile of giggles. (Because we crazy sisters tend to laugh hysterically when hurt.) Strangely (or maybe because of her blood/alcohol ratio) she wasn't really damaged beyond a few new bruises. Big John panicked and ran down the stairs after her, attracting the attention of several of the frat brothers... who thought he was beating her. Hah.

Then she went on to tell me about another "partied-too-much" incident where she felt sick and decided to lay on the nice, cold tile floor, preparing to worship the porceline god. John needed to brush his teeth, so he's standing at the sink in his boxer shorts, brushing his teeth while Karlyn moans by his feet on the floor. A friend ducks his head in for a moment... Karlyn says in retrospect it probably did look like John had just finished beating her. Poor maligned boy.

That's what he gets for taking up with my beautiful, accident-prone baby sister.

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