Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Knowing is half the battle?

Actually, in my case, knowing was all the battle. I lost.

Evidently, "the administrative assistant was supposed to send a letter a couple weeks ago". They filled the position. :insert really creative and emphatic cursing here:

However, just this afternoon I was offered two sections of English - same as I taught last year - so I'm not facing complete unemployment. Just the same soul-sucking demi-employment that I've had for the last two years.


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tips on Becoming Invisible

The process is really much easier than you might think. Just try these easy steps:

1. Move across the country with your spouse or significant other.

2. Move for his or her job.

3. Do not, under any circumstances, obtain full time employment.

4. If you work part time, make sure it is in a place where you have little to no daily contact with other adults.

5. Do not play team sports.

6. Make sure that your neighbors or other acquaintances are all either older than your parents, or else are themselves the parents of young children.

7. Currently have no children of your own.

8. Do not enroll in any degree programs.

9. Do not be a member of any of the organizations known as churches. (On account of the flames...)

10. Have many hobbies that you enjoy doing by yourself. Reading, writing, painting, knitting, etc. all work well.

Following those simple ten methods to both eliminate opportunities for visibility and to remove your motivation for active change should allow you to drift into near total obscurity.

(No, I still haven't heard back from that school. But then again, neither has anyone else who's applied for any of the half dozen open positions there... so.)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Still jobless. Too frustrated to blog.

And it's hot and humid.

Screw this, I'm goin' home.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Earlier Today

the setting: Jay's office at the college. Kate has learned that two of the schools have filled their openings. No word back on one query, and the place she thought she'd be working by now still hasn't contacted her and have evidently stopped answering their phones.

Kate: Aaaaaaggghh! I'm so frustrated. I feel like no one wants me, or is going to want me. Maybe I should just jump off a cliff.

Jay: Hey, c'mon.

Kate: Don't you "c'mon" me!

Jay: :wide eyed look, slaps hands over his mouth:

Kate: I mean it! Don't you come on me!

Kate pauses. Mentally replays what she has just said ever so loudly in her husband's office with the door open.

Kate: Um... oops. :collapses into helpless laughter:

Friday, June 09, 2006

Irony in Advertising

The other day, while listening to the radio, I heard an ad that was using the song "Big Yellow Taxi" by Joni Mitchell. Specifically repeating the phrase "they paved paradise and put up a parking lot". Yes, for a paving and concrete company. In Vermont. Now, paving paradise is an idea I find rather appalling, as do many of the Vermonters at whom this poorly thought out commercial was directed.

I mean, the whole point of the SONG is that this whole paving thing is NOT GOOD. So who the hell thought this would be a good theme song for a paving company?

Then there was the full page ad in one of those healthy living type magazines that Jay's always subscibing to... for a trend mill. Slogan? Live for the journey. Humsaywhat? On a tread mill, you are journeying NO WHERE. I mean, granted, it could be interpreted as a journey to fitness or better health or something. But still, I think the irony twinkles through.

And if those are examples of what's going into advertising in print and on radio, I can only imagine what must be on tv these days.

Sunday, June 04, 2006


Got back yesterday from my week with the fam in Pittsburgh and Lexington. I'm still a bit sleep deprived - only managed eight hours of sleep one night out of six - but all in all a good visit.

Hung out with K3 the first few days, including a trip out to the nursing home to see Grandma and Sam. She's pretty much wasted away in the late stages of Alzheimers, doesn't talk any more, won't eat unless my mom or Sam or my sisters are there to feed her... don't think she'll make it much past her 82nd birthday this summer. I hope not, at any rate. She always said she didn't want to go on like this, and it's killing Sam. K3 and I also hit Pittsburgh Knit & Bead, which is going out of business, and got some rockin deals on yarn and beads. (Yarn for me, beads for her.) She does some really nice work with hemp and beads.

Dad still drinks too much, and Mom needs to up her thyroid meds, so they both lapsed into rather maudlin tears at several points over the week. I tried to run a little interference for K2 at her graduation, but being with both our parents at the same time is a little like babysitting five year old twins who can never let an opportunity to score points against each other. Major bitterness on my mom's part, clueless arrogance on my dad's. Fun fun.

K2 has accepted a fabulous sales job in NYC working for a publishing company - they do specialty business type magazines and journals. She starts in July - yay K2! I'm sure she will do an awesome job, hit all her bonuses, and look mahvelously stylin' while at it. Mwah - love you, babe.

I also got my hair fixed by my parents' 72 year old barber Regis. He's a scream - did a perfect imitation of my dad. They've been getting their hait cut there for 20 years, so Reeg knows all the family histories... pretty funny. And he said that he could see how the girl cut my hair crooked because, "you hang heavy on the right and have a flippy-doo on the left." But even he couldn't figure out why she left it so long in the back. It's an inch shorter and looks much cuter now.

Still haven't heard a gdamn thing from any of the places I applied to... Mr. Ron (first name Mo) is definitely dropping the ball on hiring up there. If I don't hear from them tomorrow I'll call and check in. Not that having time off isn't nice... but a paycheck and some job security wouldn't go amiss either.

Alrighty... brilliant update, totally boring, I know. I'll try to do better next time. Something interesting... hmmm. I'll have to think about it.