Words Fail Me

So. As I think I mentioned, I actually did get my teaching license in the mail last week. Still waiting for the Praxis scores back so I can add the French endorsement. One of the University of Phoenix education coordinators contacted me to let me know that all I needed for the French endorsement was the Praxis exam and then I would be in. This is not what has left me speechless. I was perfectly ready to let bygones be bygones, move on with my life, forget the incompetence I had encountered.

But then I got this email....

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Ms. -----

I would like to apologize for the non-responsiveness of USOE staff. For your information, I have only one message recorded in my phone log for you (Sept. 18, 2003 1:35 p.m.); no other entries in the phone log. If you were forwarded to my assistant, she did not provide any information to me concerning your inquiries. She generally leaves phone message slips of paper on my chair but apparently goofed twice. However, I do take responsibility for my own staff members.
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So far, not bad, though she does imply that I'm lying about another call. In fact, I said that I left two messages on her answering service and was twice forwarded to another employee whose name I did not record.


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MB ----- does not work in the Educator Licensing Department but rather in Curriculum. Have you completed the reading endorsement application? If so, the application would have been submitted to S---, logged into your CACTUS file, and forwarded to MB who is required by her supervisor to review the application within one week and respond to my department. S---- is a secretary who tracks the endorsement applications; she has no authority sufficient expertise to inform applicants
of endorsement requirements.
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Okay, totally missed what I in my email to the U of Phoenix people which was forwarded to her. I said that recently I talked to Mary Beth about another issue, about getting a letter of approval that I was on a endorsement track for reading. It was not about submitting an endorsement request, and I am fully aware that MB is not in licensing.


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I mailed a letter to you today with your French endorsement review and by the end of tomorrow, you will have been placed on a State Approved Endorsement Program for French.
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While this is nice, it's irrelevent. I'm not teaching French right now and won't be until summer or later. But the next part is where it gets good.


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Concerning the four month delay in reviewing your application: it is inexcusable. However, please keep in mind that Utah's Educational system continues to be under funded, my staff members have significantly more work to complete in a 40-hour week than they can accomplish. Easy problems get solved first; more difficult one are delayed. Your problem was delayed
because it involved researching the Dartmouth College French and Italian Department course descriptions. Once your file was placed on my desk, I reviewed the file and made the decision by the end of the same work day. Your complaint has precipitated a change in the working relationship between the University of Phoenix license candidates and the USOE curriculum specialists. As it appears that we do not have sufficient time to complete our licensing tasks, USOE staff will no longer advise any pre-license applicants.
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I am completely cognizant of the limitations placed on Education by the chintzy bastards in the state legislature. But this bitching and moaning that it wasn't REALLY their fault because blah blah blah? And as for researching the course descriptions and major/minor requirements? I was able to pull that info off the Dartmouth website in 10 minutes. And they were advising pre-license candidates? REALLY? I thought my problem was caused by the fact that I didn't get any advice beforehand.


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The problem of significant delay in USOE review should be solved when the Educator Licensing Department moves to an on-line application process for the ten Utah teacher preparation institutions (July 1, 2006 target date). On the other hand, the Bureau of Criminal Identification (where criminal background checks are processed) is currently experiencing a five-month
backlog...
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Yes, that's why we were required to submit our paperwork for processing a year in advance. (That would be March of 2003 for those of you paying attention.)


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Meanwhile, we will begin accepting institutional recommendations over the signature of each university's compliance office by July 1, 2005 so long as the teacher's ETS Praxis scores are submitted with the recommendation. In other works, the ETS score will substitute for the transcript.
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Interesting, but what EXACTLY does this have to do with my case and why should I give a flying fuck?


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I would like to express my regrets for the mistake in the evaluation of your undergraduate French credits as either a "major equivalent" or a "minor equivalent". B----- may have misunderstood the course numbering system for Dartmouth or may not have reviewed the major/minor of lower division/upper division distinctions when he mailed in your institutional recommendation.

J----
Coordinator, Educator Licensing
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Wow. Allow me to translate this one for you people who aren't fluent in Bitch. "I'm sorry you're such an idiot that you didn't realize that your pathetic low-level classes didn't qualify you to teach in this state. Obviously, if you can't decipher the vague directions posted online, then that is not my problem. Oh, and too bad that your advisor was an idiot, too."

So tell me, am I being too sensitive, or was that the biggest non-apology you've ever read?