Wednesday, June 25, 2003

What is it really?

Jay and I were talking the other night about what makes Utah different from other places. Not the physical place itself, but what makes the people different... We're here in the capital, so it's not like it's 80% Mormon like the rest of the state. In fact, it's only about 30% LDS and 70% other.

The conversation arose from me being really sad again about not having friends here. I have lots of people I work with who I adore, but we never manage to be able to get together outside of work. Well, once I managed to have dinner with one of the people, but that's all. I've invited them to our apartment warming, and no one showed. I've been invited to go out for drinks, but then they'll forget to call me and let me know when and where -- AND THEN ask me why I didn't come. God help me.

And the people I've met through Jay's grad school friends aren't any better. I've made plans a couple times, only to be flaked out on at the last minute. A girl could get a complex here. Is it just that people don't understand the idea of doing what they say they are going to do? I feel like I'm in a little bubble of reality, surrounded by pod people. No, really.

Evidently, I'm not the only one with this problem. My syblings all suffer from friend-failure. Maybe our parental units raised us wrong - ha! Instilled in us the idea of loyalty and honesty and the idea of following through on things you say you are going to do! How dreadful! What were they thinking????

Sometimes I feel like I've totally invisible. Je suis phantome.

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