Saturday, January 22, 2005

Ho Hum

I feel like I'm stuck in some sort of holding pattern here. Like I'm in some sort of odd loop. I feel like my days go by so quickly, and yet nothing really happens. I feel like I'm always getting ready for bed, but what did I really accomplish during my waking hours? I don't know, but maybe that's why I haven't had much to say here.

I've gotten some writing done. A whopping 1200 words in the last two weeks. I just can't get into it. Into anything. But I'm not really depressed or anything. I know how that feels, and this ain't it. I feel like I've misplaced my attention span.

I'm still trying to get a response from the Utah State Office of Education, one of the largest collections of useless bureaucrats. It's now been 27 weeks since I first filed my application for licensure. Their website advertises a 20 DAY turnaround. UNofficially, they tell everyone 6-8 weeks. Note the discrepancy. Sadly, without the licensure, I'm kind of screwed. I can't substitute teach in my district because signing up to sub would bring attention back to the fact that I still don't have my licensure, which might make the job I do have somewhat more iffy. I've had an offer from one of the big "supplemental teaching" (aka: tutoring) centers, but they can't hire me until I have license in hand. So basically, the state of Utah has found yet another way to fuck me over.

Maybe this odd state of mind is the result of my trying really hard to just "go with the flow" and not be stressed and not be depressed and not be all bitchy about how fucked up living here has been for me.

Could be.

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