Thursday, July 10, 2003

Were you the 1000th visitor?

According to my sitemeter, I have had exactly one thousand visitors since I started in October. Well, maybe a few more than that because I didn't discover site meter until November, I think. Granted, most of those visits were for zero minutes and zero seconds, but still...

So back to the party - it was at this little corner bar in Clinton, New Jersey called Johnny's. We walked in through the front bar area - narrow, dark, smoky, with a few older, raggedy-looking, beer-gutted men sitting on the stools. The back room holds about a hundred people and was almost as dim as the bar. Decorations from the fifties for sure, and nothing more modern than the seventies. Horrible carafes of wine - Burgundy, Chablis, or White Zinfindel. The red tasted like vineger, the white like piss. The White Zin was drinkable, but only because it's supposed to be sickly sweet, right? No worse than a wine cooler, I suppose. And certainly better than the watery Budweiser that was the other choice.

The paid entertainment - a lounge singer-type in a periwinkle blue tux and a dyed black, slicked-back pompadour. He sang every song, including "The Electric Sliiiiiide". He had an okay, if totally lifeless voice which made the whole thing too too funny. I seriously could not stop laughing.

The unpaid entertainment - the Saturday night Elvis impersonator stopping by to pick up his check - Dottie, one of Jean's (grandma's) friends, singing show tunes - Dottie, grabbing Jay's butt and giving him a kiss - Jay telling me afterwards that Dottie had tried to "slip him the tongue" - one little old man harrassing everyone to join in the line dancing - Jay's Dad telling me that the man was a line-dancing instructor for the blind - the "white trash Italian" food - Jay's brother Forest showing up looking like Andy Gibb, but with a full beard - the parade of old ladies coming up to Jay and saying "Forest, no Jason! Jason!" and planting a kiss on him - Forest dancing with Jean to "Tequila!"

We spent the night at Jean and Lou's house (the grandparents). Jean collects cats. Not live ones, just figurines, stuffed animals, pictures, paintings, etc. Lou says, "Yeah, I live in a Cat House." Jay couldn't figure out why I was laughing until I explained that Cat House = uh, how to say? House of Ill-Repute. From the look on his face, I think a lot of his grandfather's jokes suddenly came clear.

Anyway, enough for now. I must eat lunch. Mmmm.

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