Kill me

This waiting thing is killing me. I put off updating beacuse I was supposed to know about the job in Vermont today. Instead I got an email that they are still discussing the options for next year's faculty and will get back to me very soon. Aaaagh!

Updates on the prom - not a big deal, just chaperoning, didn't even bother to really dress up, just wore black slacks and a black and wine top. Felt strangely guilty after the prom court was announced... I hate to see girls cry over shtuff that doesn't really matter. As I said to Molly, "Didn't we used to make fun of Prom Queens?"

One observation: the people back east are generally much bigger than the people out west. So I felt pretty good about myself in that respect. On my tours of the school campus, I was the only one not gasping for breath going up and down stairs and hills. Of course, I did have the advantage of living at 4500 feet and being down around 1000 ft during the visit.

But seriously, I just don't know if I can be happy in Vermont without a real job to look forward to. I refuse to go back to hospitality type work. My mental health is more important than $8/hour, or whatever the going rate is back there. If I don't get this job, I think I will just sit down and cry. Which really sucks, because this whole Vermont thing is just Jay's dreamlife made real. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.