Hi, my name is Kate, and I'll be your therapist this week
So, Jay won with the estimate of 12 minutes until the first sniping between our newlywed friends. I'll call them "Jeremy" and "Alison"
However, there are obviously some deeper issues going on between Jeremy and Alison, and Jay and I feel compelled to try to help. Part of the problem is that Alison is young. She's only 21 and Jeremy is 29. She feels really insecure because she's never gone to college, she's never had to do anything for herself--parents spoiled her and her sister, and she's also gained a lot of weight in the last year and a half since they got engaged. They just got married. They should be happy, lovey, supportive of each other. The words "I hate you" shouldn't be a staple of their daily exchanges. I would think, anyway.
The thing is, Alison is so blatently unhappy that is hurts to watch. Jeremy doesn't make it any better because he just picks on her and puts her down even harder than she's already doing to herself. Example-- Alison: "I'm so stupid and flaky." Jeremy: "Yeah, pretty much." Now that's just ugly.
So the plan is for Jay and I to split them up tomorrow when they get back from Park City. I get to talk to Alison about possibly seeking help for what to me is an obvious dark depression, while Jay gets to discuss "How to support your significant other" with Jeremy. Jeremy keeps telling her that her problems are all in her head. The nice thing about that is that I can agree with him while introducing more productive concepts like "chemical imbalance" and "have your doctor check your thyroid function".
All Jay and I know is that we can't stand to be around them like this. Their misery is contagious. Alison has no self-confidence, and as a woman who dealt with a wicked smackdown of depression myself last year, I can't not try to help her.